Finding the write words #1
Hello, and welcome to my first writing post. I’m so glad you’re here.
If you’re reading this, it means you know that I’ve endeavored to write my debut novel—an undertaking that has proved as daunting as it is thrilling. I’ve dreamed of being a published author since I was about seven years old, and it’s so crazy to me that I’ve made it to a stage in life where it might actually happen. I never would’ve thought to write down bits and pieces of my process here on the blog for you all had I not seen that my favorite book influencer, Jack Edwards, created a newsletter for the creation of his own debut novel (if you’ve never checked him out before, I’d highly recommend him. I love listening to his takes on literature and life. His Instagram is @jackbenedwards). I was so happy to see that I was writing my novel at the same time he was writing his, and I loved the idea of writing about the process of, well, writing in order to keep myself accountable and you all entertained.
So, here it is: the first installment of “Finding the Write Words,” a series on Musings a la Mode where you all will get a glimpse into the workings of my caffiene-addicted and somewhat unhinged writer brain.
The process of starting this project was…very overwhelming. It was exciting, too, don’t get me wrong, but looking back on everything I can see the ways I could’ve done things differently. For starters, I rushed into signing a contract with a publisher. I do not regret this decision, as I did very much want to do it, but I can see now that I was allowing others to push me into making the decision. That put a lot of pressure on me—I felt as though I’d be severely letting people down if I had to extend deadlines, or if I couldn’t find the right words to put on the page. I have never been one to force myself to create. If it isn’t organic and authentic thought, it doesn’t usually sit right with me.
At the beginning of May, my publisher and I decided on a soft deadline of September for a completed manuscript. That should’ve been the point where I pressed on the brakes, hard. It took several people asking me with incredulous expressions why I would ever agree to terms like that for me to realize that I could not write a novel in three months, nor should I. Some authors take years to write a book. Even though I had brought a half-formed creature to the table to begin with—a job for my boss turned passion project turned potential novel—it was insane of me to think that one summer was enough time to take my words and make them shine. On top of that, I was stressing about starting my last year of grad school, a year that will see me stepping into the role of English teacher in a much more apparent and hands-on way. I’ve never been great with change, and I realized I had taken on too much to process.
If I’m being honest, that realization freaked me out. I felt like I must be doing something terribly wrong, that I wasn’t a good writer after all. My motivation tanked. I couldn’t even open Microsoft Word without feeling sick with guilt. I didn’t want to accept what I knew was right: that I did not have special powers. I had to take a step back and re-center myself. I decided to get rid of the deadline, and acquainted myself with the idea that this was MY story, and it would be written how I wanted it to be. Nobody else had a say in that. I was going to take as long as needed to write something that I wanted to write, something I wanted to read.
As soon as I did so, I could breathe again.
I’ve now taken a much more relaxed and dedicated approach to writing this novel, and I’m having a lot more fun. I’ve had to ask myself some important questions about how many perspectives I wanted to explore, how many characters there would be, what the setting would be, etc. One of the best parts of starting a new writing project is watching the characters come alive in my head. I don’t choose my characters, they choose me. I might see an actress on a TV show that reminds of something specific, or I might see an old man in a coffee shop on my way to work, and for whatever reason they stick to me. Some of them I can remove after a few days, and others stay and make themselves comfortable in my head. They take on features, and voices, and mannerisms. They become real, in a sense. This novel has quite a few characters—a bright, ambitious cast of personalities that are really starting to come alive within my words. It’s all very exciting.
I’ll go into a bit more depth on my characters, as well as the general premise, in my next writing post. I don’t have everything totally figured out, yet. Three months ago I would’ve hated the idea of not knowing exactly what I wanted from this book, but now I think it adds to the fun of creating it. I see that I can change, rearrange, and disassemble this novel however many times it takes in order to turn some scribbles on lined paper into a masterpiece I’m proud of.
I sincerely hope you enjoyed this first installment of “Finding the Write Words,” and I hope you’ll join me on my writing quest. Buckle up, it’s going to be a wild ride.
Fashionably Yours,
Hanna